Sunroom, north facing, before

Yes, I know, been a while since I sent out the latest House update But despite broken wrist and mental burn-out, I have continued working on the house…just quite a bit slower! Have a four day weekend, so am using the time to knock out the last of the projects…or at least enough of it to get the house listed for sale this week!

The sunroom, or back room as I usually call it, has actually been most commonly the junk room for most of the ten years I’ve lived here.

During the three years I sold books online, it actually was the book room – at one point more than 10,000 books were stored back here! That history actually led to the biggest challenge of this room – filling in ALL those holes in the walls from where I had shelving hung on the walls.  I went through an entire container of wood putty and half a container of spackling to get all the holes filled in! Granted, they were small containers, but still!

The first thing was to clear out all the junk and trash that had accummulated in here.  Brianna and Mark helped me with hauling off the dog sofa, I

sold the futon (not shown) at one of the yard sales, and cleaned up all the just plain trash.  The small window was cracked and broken in a bad wind storm, and I’m having fun (not!) finding glass the right size to fit is, as none of the pre-cut glass available at Home Depot or Lowes is the right size.  But I’ll get it done.

Sunroom north facing, after clearing out

Despite all the holes in the wall, I expected this room to be the simplest room to make over.  The plan was patch the holes, repaint the walls and ceiling, pull out the fugly piece-meal carpeting that was at least 30 years old, paint the floor (it’s concrete), and move all my craft stuff in here.

Of course, just like every other room, this room had an unexpected surprise or two…sigh…the big surprise in this room was a humongous crack in the floor.  Seriously huge.  The floor of this room was actually just a slab, the room was just simply a back patio that was enclosed in 1956 by the owners at the time.  When they enclosed it, they installed two huge single-pane picture windows, and reused a storm window as the side window, and built the small window on the north side that is now cracked.  They didn’t insulate or anything, of course.  But they did build the room right over the existing floor, of which a 2-foot by 4-foot section of the south portion had cracked, broken, shifted, and skewed about two inches off the level of the rest of the floor.

OMG, how can anyone build a room on a floor that is OBVIOUSLY broken, without fixing it first!!  Sure, I know it wouldn’t have been exactly cheap to inject concrete under the broken section, lifting it and releveling it, but to just build right over it without doing ANYTHING at all!  They filled the crack in with gravel and sand, and put a very thin layer of morter over it (thin like in less than 1/4″, all broken and gone now)! It’s amazing to me!

I’m seriously getting sick and tired of finding myself on my hands and knees dealing with floor issues in every single room!!

sunroom south after clearing out - see the crack from hell

Well, of course I can’t fix it properly – which would entail injecting concrete under the broken section, lifting it up and leveling it.  For starters, it would be outrageously expensive.  Then there would be the problem of the wall that is built over it – lifting the slab would lift the wall, causing at best lots of cracks and a big broken window, but would probably damage the roof and knock the south door out of alignment completely.

The next option would have been for me to pour a new floor over the existing floor with self-leveling cement.  I seriously considered this, although pricy (about $100-$150 worth of self-leveling cement) it would have corrected the broken slab issue, and would have leveled the entire floor.  But self-leveling cement isn’t recommended for situations requiring a leveling over an inch – and the slope of this slab is 2-1/2 inches.  I then would have had to redo both exterior doors in this room, cutting them about 3/4″ shorter than they are and reframing them, because the floor would then be over the threshholds of both doors.

Forget that.  Too much work.  As it is, the back door will probably need to be replaced as part of the sale of the house, assuming the potential new owner doesn’t want a doggy door.

Sigh… I can’t fix this problem the most proper way, as it will simply lead to virtual destruction of the room.  But I can improve the situation.

So I decided to just patch the crack, and feather it out as much as possible to at least smooth out the juncture between the intact slab and the

Working on the crack

broken portion of the slab.  I’m not worried about the slab sinking or shifting anymore – it obviously hasn’t moved since the room was built in 1956.  I suspect the crack originally occured during the first ten or twenty years of the house’s life.  It looks that old. Following the advice of my neighbor Matt, who used to pour concrete foundations and patios for a living, and the advice of Trey, who just simply knows a little bit about everything, I first dug out all the broken crap out of the crack, I then chipped the crack wider, by about an inch, I then poured a layer of resin down the crack, then using repair morter, actually filled in the crack, about 1/2″ at a time, letting it dry and cure for about 2 days between each layer.  It took nearly two weeks just to repair the crack.  Although the slope where the floor is cracked is still obvious, it’s a lot less drastic than it was – no one will trip over it now!

No wonder nobody has moved the carpet pieces in this room in decades!  I’ve lived here 10 years and never noticed that the floor was different there either – wow!

I found a gallon of “oops” Behr floor-and-porch paint at Home Depot for $5, tinted the most perfect shade of light blue with just a bare touch of green to it – very 1950s.  I love the “oops” paint shelf I wish the guys in the paint department made even more tinting mistakes … I swear almost all the paint in my house is “oops” paint   Anyway, $5 for a gallon of paint that normally runs around $28 is awesome   I painted the floor, and used Behr’s paint chips ($7.95) to “fleck” the floor to give it some interest, and also to detract from the crack

I must admit this room was the most fun to paint   Whoever last painted it was a total slob – they painted right on the glass, dripped all over the floor.  Since I knew I was painting the floor, I didn’t care if anything got on the floor. No need for drop clothes!  Since I was going to have to

Painting and flecking the floor

scrape 30 or 40 year old paint off the windows anyway, I didn’t bother masking them.  When I painted the floor, I just poured the paint right on the floor and rolled it out   Very fun   I managed not to paint myself into a corner, too

Of course, I kept forgetting to CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!  Both dogs and Lassie the Cat all stepped in the wet paint at least once!

When it came time to paint around the windows, I discovered that the caulking around the windows was cracked, brittle, and even missing in some places.  I also discovered that one of the picture windows wasn’t framed in at all – the caulking was the ONLY thing holding the window in place.  I’m stunned the dang thing hasn’t fallen right out.  Lucky, too.  Using some scrap wood, I built a quicky frame around the window, painted it, and after cleaning out what little remained of the existing caulking, I caulked both windows.

I then moved the white cabinet that used to be in the kitchen into this room, and moved all my craft and sewing stuff that was previously strewn around the entire house into this one room.  It’s all organized now… which is really quite scary   I even repurposed a bunch of small plastic containers and sorted through all my notions, storing them into containers that are now labeled and stored in the cabinet

Organization!

Yes, I said *organized* and *labeled*.  Yes, two words not normally used in conjunction with me!

I put all my patterns into a binder.  Did the same thing with all my stencils

On the other side of the room (not pictured, batteries died in the camera, gotta recharge them!)  I put the dog and cat food into to large plastic bins and set them up neatly in the corner.  I then hung my aluminum can crusher on the wall next to the back door, and set up three other plastic bins for my recycling – paper, plastic, and aluminum.  Looks nice and neat, and is colorful, if I don’t say so myself

I cleaned all the thermal insulated curtains I had hanging up over the windows, they look much nicer now, but I have not rehung them up. Although they do a remarkable job of keeping this room warmer during the winter and cooler during the summer (the room isn’t heated) I decided the room looks much nicer with the sun shining in – it’ll show better.

Voila!  The notorious junk room is now a multi-purpose craft and recycling room   As you can see in the pictures, I do still have some craft stuff to finish organizing – that’s the pile on the cabinet – and the window still needs to be repaired.  I’ve got all my tools sitting in there right now, those will get stowed back in the garage when I’m done with all this house rehabbing stuff, but it’s nice to have the tools in just one place now while I finish up all the work I’m doing on the house.

Just about all done!

Costs:
$5.00 for “oops” floor and porch paint
$7.95 for Behr paint chips
$7.98 for a gallon of white paint for the walls and ceilings
$4.90 for spackling and wood putty
$12.80 for repair mortar, which will also be used to patch some small fine foundation cracks.
Total: $38.63

Living Room, south wall, before.

Initially, I thought all I needed to do was declutter, clean, repaint the white walls and ceiling, and even though the carpeting was NOT wall-to-wall, just clean it up.

Well… of course that’s not what happened!

First, the easy part: I sold the recliner and couch, which did NOT match and were totally the wrong size for the room, at my yard sale,
and replaced both with a 2-piece used sectional in pretty good condition I got totally for free from the Pikes Peak Community Action Agency.  Carl over there was so happy to have someone take it off their hands (taking up a lot of space in the Free pile!) that he arranged for someone to haul it the three blocks to my house! Granted, it took an entire bottle of Febreeze to kill the musty smell
of it, but it looks great, I think, and the dogs LOVE it.  Especially Coco, who can still get to her favorite sleeping corner in the house
by simply walking behind it, but Binky can’t cause he’s too big – so she now has a place which is totally Binky-free!  She’s quite happy
about that   Although she wasn’t happy about the commotion I made tearing the living room apart, I think I’ve been forgiven.

All the steam cleaning in the world (and various chemical agents) would not take the black paint stain out of the carpet.  I really debated about removing it, because it does help keep the room warm during the winter and it was a pain to get it into the living room to begin with, but at the same time, showing a house with a carpet that is one foot two small on two sides for the room, that doesn’t meet up at the kitchen arch, is seriously stained, and frankly, rather tatty looking, just ain’t going to work.  Next-door-neighbor had given it to me when he replaced the carpeting in his house, his daughter’s 2-year-old son was the “artist” who painted on it, and despite that, I really did like having it in there.  But it had to go.  Removing it was a pain – it’s big and heavy – but by cutting it into
smaller pieces, I was able to tackle that job relatively easily.

I knew the wood floors would need some work… they’ve become pretty worn, but fortunately, they’re oiled floors.  That means I don’t need
to sand and deal with expensive, life-threatening urethanes and all to get it to look good, I just need to get some Tung nut oil and reoil
 them.  But of course, *NOBODY* stocks traditional Tung oil anymore! All the so-called Tung oil products at Home Depot and Lowes are just
urethane and varnish products with a touch of tung oil in them!  I did find an old can of tung oil in the garage, probably dating to the 1950s when the floor was last properly finished, but it only had a small amount left in it.  I did use that – it was barely enough to do a very, very light first coat over the floor, which did make a big difference (parts of the floor, especially in the traffic areas, are practically bare), and found a place on the ‘net that sells proper, pure Tung oil for about $17 for a half- gallon, which should be more than enough for me to do another coat or two in the living room, and also touch up the office floor when I pull the carpet out of there. I’ll order it when I next get paid, and finish the floor then.  Some areas will need more than a few coats to get them to even out and match the rest of the floor, but that’s okay with me.

Starting to re-oil the floor

There’s several reasons I’m sticking with the original wood floor treatment.  Tung oil is completely natural – it’s the oil from the
Tung nut – and has a very pleasant, somewhat-peanutty, odor.  You don’t need to wear respirator masks when installing it, and can even handle it with bare hands if you really wanted to.  I can’t, because I’m still somewhat allergic to nuts, but latex gloves does the trick. An oiled floor, if it becomes damaged, doesn’t require you to refinish the entire thing – just sand where the damage is, and then brush some
oil on it till it matches.  The oil blends right in to the existing area.  The more you oil it, the darker and shinier the finish.  You don’t need  anything special to clean or care for it – can wash the floor with simply water, and should it get worn off (like in the case of my floor), just brush some oil on, and lightly hand buff it, and you’re done.  Finally, I’m using it because that’s what’s always been used on the hardwood floors in this house: tung oil.  Never a touch of stain, never any harsh chemicals Of course, there is one downside: it takes about two days to dry out enough to move furniture back on it and walk on it without sticking, and about a month to fully “cure” (get hard), but I don’t mind that.

The walls turned into a nightmare.  When I first started to paint them, the existing paint started to peel off!!  Apparently the last time this room was painted (which was probably around 1984!), either extremely cheap paint was used, or the surface wasn’t prepared right – likely both.  I knew I was going to have some problems covering all the yellowed and stained walls, but the existing paint just simply falling off the wall wasn’t a problem I was prepared for.

Fortunately, there was a simple solution: TSP, the same stuff I used on the tiles in the kitchen!  Ya know, that big box of TSP I bought
about ten years ago for like $4 sure has come in handy more than I can count!  I had to scrub all three white walls, AND the ceiling, with
TSP, and even sand some places.  Lots of spackling was needed, too, then I could finally paint.  It took three days… sigh… I hate
painting ceilings!  And parts of the room still need another coat of paint, but that will wait, also, for payday, when I can buy another
gallon   Still, the walls are nice and white, the ceiling reflects too much light, but it looks good

I sold the dresser I was using as a TV stand, and repurposed the wood shelves I used to have in the middle of the kitchen.  I stained the
wood shelves with a woodstain mis-tint I picked up at Home Depot for $1.00, and trimmed it in “black leatherette” contact paper.  Yes, I really love contact paper   I did the same to the dvd-stand just left of the door, so it looks like a matched set of furniture now.  I removed the shelving behind the door that I had all my “back up copies” of dvds (read that the way you want *grins*), as my realtor has suggested that having piles of “back up” dvds laying around the living room for strangers to comment on may not be a very good idea…   They are now boxed up.  I pulled out all the wiring I had from the living room to the bedroom and office, and replaced it with a used wireless media networking system I picked up at Goodwill for $7.75 …that way I still can stream any video or music I want from the living room to the office or bedroom or back to the living room, but no longer have a bunch of wires hanging out all over the place!  I unhooked the home theater sound system speakers from the wall, and just have them neatly sitting on the shelves around the tv… do miss the true surround sound of having the speakers placed properly, but it
still sounds good.  Besides, wires draped over the windows just isn’t very attractive

I’ve only rehung two pictures, although I think the corner behind the sectional looks too bare now, I think it’s better than making new
holes in walls I just spent what feels like a year patching to hang more pictures.   I’m leaving the mural on the arch wall as it is (although I did finish painting the flowers, and cleaned it)… I’ll offer to paint over it to whoever buys the house if they want me to. I love it too much to paint over it while the house is still mine

So there you have it… Laura’s new, nice, clean, neat, ready-to-show, living room.  Sure, still a few things to do … some touch-up paint,
floor needs more oiling, ceiling fan needs cleaning, finish the molding around the front window, and a throw-rug (currently hanging on the fence after being hosed down and cleaned) to lay on the floor, but it’s done.

Here’s the best part:  Total cost: $45.11

Tung Oil, $15.95 with free shipping (will use in office later, too)
Gallon of White Paint, $7.44
Blue wood stain, $1.07
“Black Leatherette” Contact paper, $5.95 (will use in office later, too)
Yet more spackling, $1.95 (I should just break down and buy the big jug)
Two new end tables, from GoodWill, $5  (they were still in the box, unopened! Only one in the picture, the other one will be placed by the door after I finish the floor)
New (used) wireless media streaming center from Goodwill $7.75

Sorry the final photo is kinda warped looking… I’m still getting the hang of the panoramic photo feature

It echos, just like the kitchen

Living room, done

Backsplash wall before.

Backsplash wall after

Took another two days to replace the 1960′s contact paper on the shelves, clear out more stuff from the shelves, figure out a place for the microwave which turned out to be too big to fit under the cabinet left of the sink like I wanted to, but it fit on the right side of the sink, and a few other small things. 

Moved a small 1960′s era table and two 1970′s era chairs from my back room (the junk room) to the kitchen, so now it is a proper eat-in kitchen complete with a walk-in pantry   I think it will show a lot better when I list the house.

My dogs hate it.  Before, I had a carpet runner between the back door and the archway to the living room.  Now, it’s all clean, slick, shiny vinyl flooring… walking on it is no problem.  But if they try to run on it to go scare some poor squirrel out of the backyard, barking all the way, they slip-and-slide and loose all grip on the flooring.  It’s actually very funny… think a drunk trying to walk on a ice skating rink   Poor pups!!  It’s hysterical watching Binkie get halfway across the kitchen, then back up, and go through the living room, office, bathroom, and master bedroom, circling all the way around the house, to get out the back door!  I keep telling him if he would just WALK instead of RUN across the floor, he could save himself some time!  Coco’s like 15 years old, so she pretty much never runs… the floor doesn’t challenge her at all, yet she also walks around because she just doesn’t like the way it feels on her paws, best I can figure.  Lassie the Cat isn’t real fond of it either… but Lassie almost never goes through the kitchen anyway, preferring to get out through my bedroom window   Boy is he going to be pissed when I close that down for the winter!

Reminds me, that’s another thing to add to the “to do” list:  Fix the doggie door, so it will securely latch.

Pantry wall before

Pantry wall after

All told, not including the break one weekend for another yard sale, it took eight days to get the kitchen into shape. 

My total expenses were $69.72, for new electrical outlets and light switch, ice maker hookup and water line cap, white paint, PineSol (used the whole bottle!), contact paper, painter’s tape, and new door handle for the back door.

The “before” pictures, sigh…scary stuff…be afraid, be very afraid.  The “after” photos  I made using the very nifty featured called “Make Panoramic Photo” in Vista’s “Windows Live Photo Gallery”  program.  You take a bunch of different photos, and it will “stich” them together, to make a panoramic photo.  It actually works quiet good, although some of the alignments are a bit off – honestly, my wall’s not split like it shows in a few of these.  But I thought they gave a much better idea of the finished kitchen.  Well, almost finished… I still have to clean the ceiling, mop & shine the floor, replace a light switch, a few minor things that I’m not worried about right this instance.  Anyway, here they are, enjoy!

Orange wall, after.

In and of itself, I wasn’t too worried about the buckling, either, since I thought it was just the linoleum flooring that had buckled, and knew over time it would eventually lay back down flat, especially with the heat of the refrigerator on top of it.  Well, as I discovered, of course that didn’t happen.  I cut into the 1980′s layer of linoleum, hoping I could just do some trimming of it to get it to lay flat then cover it up with the rest of
the stick-on tiles I had from when I first covered the floor some eight years ago.  Well, below the 1980′s layer is the 1970′s layer of
linoleum, of which below that is a layer of thin plywood, sitting over the 1960′s layer of linoleum.  (I swear every owner of this house has
added a layer of flooring in the kitchen, myself included!)  When the flood of water from the mouse-chewed water line seeped through those holes I drilled in an effort to avoid water spreading between the layers, desiring for it to just drain out, I inadvertently exposed that plywood to the water.  It buckled.  Bad.  No quick cutting and splicing here, damn it.  A few screws to “pull” it down to the subfloor won’t work, either.

By the way, the main reason I didn’t just pull the entire kitchen floor up when I recovered it eight years ago is simple:  Linoleum flooring prior to the early 1980s contains asbestos.  I already created a hazardous waste situation when I remodeled the bathroom
nearly ten years ago.  Back then, not knowing better, I actually pulled all five layers of flooring up in the bathroom, three layers of various linoleum, two subfloors, and a layer of 1950s Tri-Bond plastic tile (man did someone love that stuff … it was and still is all over this house!)… I’ll never forget the panic I caused my garbageman at the time when he saw a trash can full of asbestos-laden, broken-up, loosely piled ancient flooring in the can!  (Never had a garbageman knock on my door, red-faced and hysterical, shouting at me, “What the hell are you doing!?!”  Granted, he used a much stronger curse word than “hell”…)  Somewhere around here I’ll have to dig up the warning letter I received from some government agency or another (can’t remember which) about proper handling of hazardous waste… never had a garbageman report me to authorities before, either.  Don’t ask how much of that crap I may have breathed in at the time… I don’t know. Fortunately, it was a small bathroom, only 5×6 feet of flooring (five or six layers thick) was removed…

Anyway back to the kitchen floor.  I did get lucky, as the buckling ended at the plywood layer.  The 1960s and below layer weren’t buckled; I would only need to deal with this one area of buckled plywood.  Unfortunately, there was no way to just screw the floor down where it was buckled, hoping to suck it down to the subfloor and level it out.  This wasn’t something that I could just ignore, either, because every time I open the pantry door, it rubs the floor there and almost gets stuck.  No way to add my layer of flooring and still open the door!  Plus the pantry will be (is now) a high traffic area, so this particular buckle is noticeable, very noticeable.

Fortunately, I happen to own more power tools than most men.  A fact that has both weirdly excited and deeply disturbed more than one
boyfriend over the years.  Pulled out the handy-dandy RotoZip, cut just the plywood layer out, limiting myself to just the area that was buckled.  Placed a few decking screws here and there to reduce the lesser buckling in the area, and went to grab the bucket of self-leveling cement that I know I have out in the Garage of Doom to fill in the hole I just created so the floor isn’t 1/4″ lower there.

Damn it, the stuff has dried rock-solid… that bucket’s been in the garage for at least six years!! It shouldn’t have dried out!

Grrr… let’s try some thinset mortar.  If it’s good enough for ceramic tiles, it should be good enough to level out this hole… nope.  It has dried solid, too, and it’s only 8 or 9 years old! Starting to regret the decision to try to get everything done using only stuff I already have on hand… *sigh*…

Well, I could use spackling paste… nah, that’s not a good idea Not only would it take a week or longer for a 1/4″ thick layer of
spackling paste to dry, it’ll crack and crumble under repeated foot traffic.

Ahh hah!  The Garage of Doom does contain a solution – silicon caulking!!  Fortunately, I’ve got tubes of the stuff – I stocked up a few years ago when some home improvement store or another went out of business, got it for like 50 cents a tube! (Pack Rat Alert!) Of courses I can’t find
the dang caulking gun, I own three of them (don’t ask) and can’t find a single one… but no worries.  It’s not like I’m needing this to be
a nice, fine, line.  I just tore open the tube and used a putty knife to spread it out, reminding myself it doesn’t need to be perfect, just needs to be good.  (I may not have inherited my mother’s neatness, but I sure did inherit her  perfectionism! *grins*)  Caulking is flexible and waterproof, so it’ll do the trick perfectly. Some bleach on the patches of mold (fortunately, dried and dead mold) that I exposed, and let it all dry overnight. 

Well, actually, as it turns out, it took about three days for the silicon to completely set and dry.

After the silicon dried, I put down the rest of the stick-on floor tile, actually have enough left over that I could retile the floor in the pantry.
 I think I’ll stew on that for a while… if I cover the pantry floor, there will be NO extra tiles left for future repairs, should any be needed.  I think I’ll leave it as a future owner option to use that spare tile for the pantry or not.

The kitchen is almost done.  I just need to clean up the mess I made doing all this work, clean the ceiling, move the table and chairs in, and it’s all done and ready to go. Probably hang some sort of picture on the wall above the table, it’s kinda stark looking there.  It is so decluttered, it actually ECHOs in here!

So I pulled out the cabinet I’d previously installed, moved the fridge yesterday, and discovered yet more broken, fugly green plastic tile to clean, repair, patch, and cover with the silver stuff.  Although you can’t really see it in this picture, the wall had been previously painted in several areas three different colors – I could never decide which color I liked best.  I’m going to repurpose this cabinet as a dresser in the bedroom later on.

So I patched the holes in the tile and the wall, and put the first coat of paint on  the wall.  This is my first experience using those new “Low VOC” paints, the ones that are supposedly more “environmentally friendly” because they have  “low volatile organic compounds” in them.

First thing I noticed, is definetly a good thing:  No smell.  I mean like no smell at all.  If anything, there is a slight odor best
described as “fresh,” if that makes any sense.  I was able to paint the first coat on two walls without having to leave the room at all!
Usually I can only paint about half a wall at a time, and take about an hour or so break between painting sessions, thanks to allergies and asthma.  Hrm, wonder if that’s why I never seem to finish any of my painting projects!

The next thing I noticed is not a good thing:  Coverage sucks.  Oh my, this stuff goes on like really thin.  It pours out of the can
with the same viscosity, the same thickness, that I’m used to with any standard latex paint.  But once you start brushing it or rolling it on
the wall, it’s THIN.  Goes on like water – it doesn’t drip (at least no more than latex paint does anyway) – it’s just really, really thin
coverage.  Just about everything that I am used to a single layer of paint covering up (stains, other paint, small hairline cracks) is
showing right through.  I’m going to have to do two coats, for sure.

But I like the stuff

Meanwhile, I added a project that wasn’t on my original list:  Make the so-called pantry an actual, usable, pantry.  Would look good to see “walk-in pantry” on the house-for-sale flyers, after all   I repurposed some of the shelving I used for books in the back room, I cleaned all the dust, and fashioned a cover out of some scrap wood to cover up the bathroom waterpipe access that is on the lower right wall of the pantry. 

I discovered when I moved the fridge yesterday that the shut-off for the ice maker water line is broke, so I’ve got a trip to Home Depot for tomorow to get something to cap it off.  Meanwhile, I just kinked the line so it wouldn’t flood the kitchen.

The floor under where the fridge and cabinet was is a problem… I do have plenty of spare stick-on floor tile, but the floor’s buckled from a prior water leak… I’ll have to tackle that tomorow.  Great…

Regardless, quite a lot of progress done today.

I’m also rearranging the appliances, to make room for a table so my kitchen can be a proper “eat-in” kitchen.  It always was meant to be, but I never eat in the kitchen, I eat on the couch watching TV like most Americans do!  So years ago, I moved the fridge to the pantry wall, installed additional cabinets, tons of shelving, and added a half-size dishwasher.  I now have to basically undo everything I did eight-ten years ago, so the kitchen will show better.

Besides, it’s cluttered as all hell.  Honestly, it’s not quite as bad as this photo shows… well, not normally… anyway, I pulled the dishwasher and oven out, and finished laying the floor under where the oven was, a reflooring project I started using 12 inch square stick-on floor tiles but never finished.  I also had to replace two floor tiles by the door that had torn up.

Took shelves down, patched holes, resurfaced the wall next to the oven where the tiles had fallen down some years ago…what a BITCH that was!!  Ended up having to sand it down and layer it back up with spackling paste in like 20 very thin layers!

Washed the wall   That orange is brighter now, yes indeedy! 

Any ideas on how to clean a ceiling?  Mine is, no joke, dusty!!  And of course, it being a kitchen, much dusty-steam has settled on the
ceiling.  Really don’t want to repaint it… although I probably should consider repainting the ceiling solid white *sigh*

Got the  fridge pulled away from wall and ready to move into place.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave the shelves up above the stove like I originally planned… seems my fridge is a bit wider than the original fridge,
and, in fact, wider than I realized… only way to keep the shelves was to move the bracket over about 8 inches towards the cabinets…and
then the door to the cabinet would bump into the edge of the shelves!!  Sure, could move the right side bracket, then cut the shelves to fit,
but screw it, too much work   Keep it open looking this way… hang some picture above the stove, or a big fun 50′s-60′s style clock (no
doubt I can find something funky at goodwill) over the oven.

Besides, turns out the shelves were too high for the microwave, I couldn’t reach it once on the shelf, not being freakishly tall or anything

The silver with the orange and the black trim really pops, don’t you think?

Still, got to thinking, someone walking in considering buying the
house, wouldn’t like to see mismatched kitchen tiles… after all, we
DO spend a lot of time in the kitchen!

Anyway, the primer product specifically designed to be used on
formica, ceramic tile, and other super-smooth surfaces, is still being
manufactured.  Unfortunately, of course, it’s gone drastically up in
price since I bought it oh, nearly 10 years ago!  $26 for a single
quart!!  Which would be enough – just barely – but I also need to buy
paint, and then the sealer to use after painting, and of course, the
sealer spray is $16.95 a can, and I know I would need at least 3 cans,
having used the stuff on the countertop before… and of course, a
roll of painter’s tape at $3.96.  Plus paint…I’m looking at $75 or
more just to make the tile look somewhat better in the kitchen!

Sigh.

I asked if they still sell stick-on cover-up tiles… these are
aluminum squares painted different colors, or just brushed aluminum.
I’ve seen them before on DIY channel… you use 2-way tape to stick
them on.  Not elegant, but would look better.  I remember looking at
them before, almost bought them before actually.  But apparently they
are no longer manufacturered.  However, they could special-order me a
new product called “Smart Tile” – it’s a vinyl/gell-like tile that
also uses two-way tape or construction glue.  And it’s thicker, about
1/8″, so it’ll hide cracks and stuff.  He showed me this brochure,
asked how much, and he said $9.95 a box.  I was like SOLD!! They look
fantastic, and had all kinds of different styles!  Could order them
and be here within 3 days!  I then asked him how many boxes do I need
to cover about 24 square feet… I’m figuring probably two or three,
since most ceramic tile comes in 10 or 12 square foot boxes.  He then
tells me I would need TWENTY FOUR BOXES.

WHAT?!?  That’s over $230!!!  Apparently they come in a box of FOUR
TILES.  Just four!  You gotta be kidding me!! I could retile the
entire area with ceramic or some of those cool new glass tiles for
less than $75!!  Sure, it’d be a major friggin hassle, requiring some
major demolition pulling all the old tiles off, ripping out the
sheetrock and replacing it with wonderboard substrate, got plenty of
mortar and grout left over from the bathroom… it’d only take me oh,
2 or 3 weeks… but it could be done.  Thanks, but no thanks.

So off I go, wandering around home depot, just browsing, kinda getting
a little stressed and a lot bummed out.  I really do NOT want to show
the kitchen looking the way it does, the kitchen is SO important when showing
a house.  Figured I’d go home and check online for something, some
sort of idea.

And then I came across the perfect idea.  Sitting right there on the
shelf, just staring at me, calling my name, “Here is the answer, look
here at me!”

Contact paper.

Not just any contact paper, but METALLIC contact paper.  In brushed
stainless steel.  $9.95 a 24-square-foot roll.  And EXACTLY
one roll left.

Glory Be!

Contact paper.  Wonderful, fully-washable, fully-water-proof,
super-thin so no need to replace the countertop trim edge or wall
edging, inexpensive, practically indestructible contact paper.

So off I went to the cashier hugging that precious roll of metallic
brushed stainless steel contact paper, gleefully checked out, got
home, and attacked the kitchen.

Fortunately, I happen to have plenty of TSP (a very weak acid-wash
solution), which is perfect for cleaning the grunge off the tile and
smoothing out the surface just a wee bit.  Even though it is more work, I cut the contact
paper into tile-sized squares, so I can better conform to the texture
of the tile (plus makes it easier if a piece needs to be replaced).

I must admit I was a bit nervous when I put the first few squares
on… wasn’t sure how it would look, I’ve always wanted to replace the
tile with stainless steal to keep in that 1950s “Diner” look and
feel of the kitchen.  But the nerves were unnecessary.  I really like
the way it looks.  It went on super-easy, and although there are a
few rough patches because the tile beneath is dinged here and there,
it just actually adds to the character.  I’ll have to buy another roll next time I go to town, as one roll wasn’t quite enough.

I really like the way it looks

It’s a huge project, especially if I am to get this house listed within 4 weeks, which is the timeline I’ve given myself.  I want to list it before labor day. 

I’ve never actually sold a house before, but I’ve seen enough shows on HGTV to know I need to make the house look as good as possible, and to maximize my sales price, I need to get as much actual work done as possible.

To make it even more challenging, as if selling a house isn’t a challenge enough, I have zero money to spend and pretty much have to do all the work alone, by myself, while also working as many extra hours as I can to get as much money together as I can to either pay the past-due mortgage payments, or put aside to move once the house is sold.  Or foreclosed upon. I will use some of the money from the yard sales towards necessary items for repairing and repainting the house, I figure at best, I’ll have about $300 to spend.  So a tight budget both time-wise and financially.

On the plus side, it’s good exercise   Anyway, after doing a really hard look around my house, leaving the rose-colored glasses in the trash, here’s my list of things to do to get the house ready to sell.  Be afraid, be very afraid *grins*

In the kitchen:

• Repair broken wall tile – it’s “Tri-Bond” plastic tile that was installed in 1958. It’s cracked, broken, missing, and just plain grungy.  I can’t replace it all – I looked into that ten years ago, and it would require pretty much gutting the walls.  The plastic tile was mortared directly onto the sheetrock with this rubber stuff, anytime you attempt to remove it, the sheetrock comes off with it. done.
• Finish recovering the kitchen floor (started 8 years ago) done.
• Replace several out-of-code electrical outlets.  The house was wired for electricity in 1928, quite a few of the existing outlets and light switches are the original ones installed in 1928, made from “BakeLite” plastic.  Very nifty, very unsafe.  Fortunately, most of knob-and-tube wiring was replaced in 1956 (don’t ask why they didn’t replace the outlets and switches at the same time), I replaced the remaining 1928 wiring in the house about nine years ago.
• Install a GFCI
• Rearrange appliances done.
• Remove shelves, patch walls, repaint done.
• Declutter and clean done.
• Replace the shelf lining on every cabinet shelf (it’s Con-Tact paper installed approximately mid 1960s).
• Replace the door handle on back door
• Clean the ceiling – since I don’t have a proper exhuast fan, dust-laden steam has accumulated on the ceiling.
• Figure seven days of work.
• Added and done: Put shelves up in pantry to make it a proper pantry. 

In the living room:

• Get rid of futon that is acting as a couch – it’s just too big, looks sloppy done.
• Rearrange furniture done.
• Patch walls, repaint three walls and the ceiling done.
• Remove the almost-room-sized carpet remnant (it’s fugly, to say the least, but works for me) done.
• Clean and oil the gorgeous 100 year old solid oak flooring that is under that fugly carpet done.
• Get rid of the big dresser I have the TV on, repurpose smaller wood shelving as a TV stand.  Will look better, take up less space
• Remove shelves behind front door currently housing my DVDs done.
• Fix front door, it is starting to fall off the hinges (it is original door!)
• Finish the front window replacement – replaced the window five years ago, but never finished putting the molding up around it nor did I finish staining, varnishing and painting it.
• Rehang the doorbell
• Rehang the smoke detector
• General cleaning done.
• Figure two days actually took 8 days.

In the office/small bedroom:

The house is considered a three bedroom house, however, I converted the small front-facing bedroom to an office.  Since I already decluttered in here just before I decided to sell the house, there’s not too much to do, fortunately.

• Pull the carpet out – carpet in here was installed in 1984, and it’s threadbare, to say the least. 
• Oil the gorgeous solid oak hardwood floors laying beneath that threadbare carpeting
• Rehang the original door
• Stain the built-in shelves
• General cleaning. 
• Not going to repaint the office, instead, I will offer whoever buys the house the option of my leaving this room as an office (the desk and far wall shelves are all built-in, the desk is just plain gorgeous if I don’t say so myself, considering I built it myself!) or converting it back to a bedroom.  If the potential buyers want it converted back to a bedroom, I will remove all the built-ins, patch everything, and repaint, before closing.
• Figure two days of work

The Bathroom:

I started to remodel the bathroom almost immediately after I bought the house ten years ago.  As is, obviously, normal for me, it’s a project that was never finished.  It is, fortunately, almost done.

• Finish hanging the remaining two rows of ceramic tile on the wall
• Finish patching where the new wonderboard and the ceiling meet
• Grout tile
• Grout marble floor
• Paint walls, ceiling
• Hang remaining molding
• Stain the bifold doors
• Install locks on bifold doors
• Stain threshhold
• Hang medicine cabinet
• Hang towel rack
• Buy and hang mirror
• Install the new wall light that I bought a decade ago but never installed
• GFC was installed by electrician but has never worked properly.  Need to get it fixed.
• Declutter and general cleaning
• Figure three days of work

The Master Bedroom

• Rearrange furniture
• Get rid of ugly, falling-apart dresser, repurpose the white cabinets I pulled from the kitchen as a dresser
• General cleaning and decluttering
• Repaint entire room
• Check the CO detector – it’s ten years old, probably should replace
• Install smoke detector
• Pretty it up, so it looks more like a bedroom and less like a place I read books and watch TV
• Figure just one day

The Utility Room:

• Remove the broken linoleum flooring, it’s all loose and chipped.  Then just paint the concrete floor that will be exposed once the linoleum has been removed done.
• Clean the walls, if that doesn’t do the trick, repaint the room.  Total hassle, hope it is not necessary done. Cleaning alone worked.
• Replace the lock on the back door
• General cleaning and decluttering done.

The Back Room

• Get rid of the piece-meal carpeting that is back there.  There is a bunch of various shapes and colors of carpet scraps on the floor, all mismatched and loose. done.
• TSP the floor, paint the floor (it’s concrete)
• Patch all the screw holes from the dozens of bookshelves I used to have hung there back when I used the room as a bookstore.  Huge project done.
• Clean, declutter done.
• Paint walls, ceiling
• Clean windows
• Replace glass in small window (broken)
• Clean the thermal curtains, consider just removing them for showing house. done.
• Figure two days
• Added: Fix doggie door so it will latch securely
• Added: Fix the HUGE crack in the floor that I discovered when I removed the carpeting.
• Added: Recaulk all the windows
• Added: Repair/replace south windowsill that has dry-rot.
• Added: Repair broken wall panel below south window.

Upstairs:

Upstairs is a large attic that was converted to a large room in 1956, then remodeled/finished in 1978.  I actually have barely used the room at all during the ten years I’ve lived here… it’s been kinda the junk room, and occasional spare bedroom for drunk friends needing a place to crash   However, it was occupied by the ex-boyfriend’s 16-year-old son three summers ago, and he did a real number on the room.  We let him put a small window air conditioning unit in the window so he could stay cool … well, he tilted the back of the unit “up” so that the cold air would hit him on the floor… he broke the 40-year-old cast-iron bedframe at one point, so the mattress was laying directly on the floor because I refused to buy a new bedframe.  Well, when he moved the AC unit, all the condensation started pouring down the wall and floor, instead of out the back of the unit and outside as the unit was designed.  This resulted in some serious water damage – I had to pull out an entire section of wall, floor, and carpeting that still needs to be replaced. 

• Finish replacing wall sheetrock
• Finish replacing carpeting and padding
• Repaint as needed
• Replace broken glass in window that he broke done.
• Replace window screens that he knocked out
• Replace insulation in the wall where it was water damaged (soaking wet insulation was removed at time of incident)
• Replace ceiling light fixture that he broke
• Replace smoke detector, it no longer works
• Tighten the handrail on the stairs, it’s become somewhat loose
• Cleaning and decluttering, as needed
• Figure five days

The Basement:

The basement is more of a root cellar than a proper basement, it’s small, only about 8′x8′, enough room for furnace, water heater, and some storage. When the house was built in 1904 or 1910 (not entirely sure, both numbers show on various paperwork) the original foundation was done by rough pouring concrete using dirt berms as a “mold” instead of plywood framing as we do now, which means the interior-facing surface is rough and uneven, with up to a one inch difference in depth.  In 1958, the owners at the time had the house lifted and the foundation replaced, and they refaced the interior of that one wall by simply mortaring on another layer of cement, about 3/4″ thick.  No adhesive used, no lathe, nothing.  Over time, that refacing has flaked off, re-exposing the original interior of the wall.  The exterior side of the foundation has never been sealed, which was never a problem as we really don’t get much rain here… never a problem until this summer.  We’ve had a ridiculous amount of rain this year, the foundation has been seeping water through it into the basement.  Not a major problem, as structurally it’s still sound, but it means I have work to do.

• Call Mark – a structural engineer friend – and have him inspect the foundation, double-check that the water issue this summer hasn’t caused any structural issues (I’m sure it hasn’t, but having a proper structural inspection won’t hurt, and he’ll do it for a home-cooked meal!) done. Good news, house is structurally sound!
• Seal the exterior of the foundation all around the house
• Added: Knock out old, loose mortar in cracks from improper/badly done repair job done probably in the 1950s and remortar the foundation cracks.
• Remove the remaining sections of the interior mortar refacing, then reface it properly
• Fix broken window
• Replace the window well (clean it out too, as it is leaf-cluttered)
• Patch hole in heat duct leading to master bedroom
• Rehang the duct leading to the office/bedroom that has fallen
• Consider painting the floor, or the walls, with sealant (ask Mark about this also)
• Fix crack in stairwell (not a structural issue, as it’s just stucco) done.
• Replace the one wooden step that has cracked (but still sound, just looks bad) done.
• Declutter and clean
• Figure four days

The Garage of Doom:

• Get rid of all the crap left behind by the ex-boyfriend that is still in there done!!!!
• Get rid of all my own junk that has accumulated
• Get garage door realligned so it closes properly
• Fix garage door lock
• Figure one day, plus one or two yard sales just for the stuff in here

The Potter’s Shed:

• Fix broken window
• Fix door so it closes properly
• Clean and declutter
• Figure one day
• Added: Repaint around the windows and along the ground, as paint has chipped away due to weather damage.

The Exterior:

• High-pressure wash the exterior, clean the windows
• Install gutters.  I have no gutters. Got quote of $680 for gutters – OUCH! Need to price materials and talk someone into helping me hang the gutters myself.
• Fix the one steel siding panel on the front porch that has fallen
• Finish the exterior molding of the front window that I replaced
• Mow, rake, clean up done.
• The privacy fence is falling down.  I don’t have the money to fix it properly, but need to look into some sort of repairing. Front fence done, still need to do south yard fence.
• Figure four days

Well, not too intimidating… I am lucky that I’m such a pack-rat, I have most of the materials and tools already that I need to get this all done.  And when I’m being honest with myself, I realize this is all stuff that I would need to do anyway should I continue to live here – or frankly, should have already done!

How the hell I’m going to get it all done by myself with no money in four weeks … but I’ll get it done.  Somehow.

I *love* my house, my home, my sanctuary, my pride, my blessing, my curse.

In about three weeks, I’ll be putting a for sale sign up in front of this cozy little place I’ve called home for the last ten years.  It has been, without doubt, the single hardest decision I have ever made in my life.  I have ten years of my life invested here, not just in my home, but my community.  When I bought this home, I said this was the place for me for the rest of my life, I will never move again, here I draw the line and say “This is home, forever. Here I will live, here I will die.”   I had no doubt at all that buying this house was exactly the right decision. 

Just as certainly, I have no doubt at all that selling my home is exactly the right decision.  My home has become a battle, a battle I cannot win, a battle that just isn’t worth fighting anymore.

In a nutshell, I, like many others, have fallen behind on my mortgage.  During the months of November 2008 through March 2009, my job cut my hours to the bare-bones, anywhere from 15 to 25 hours a week.  At $9.00 an hour, after taxes, I could keep the lights and heat on, or I could pay the mortgage.  Like many millions of other Americans, I fell behind.  While the hours at my job did increase to an average of 32-35 a week starting in April, and I have managed to pay at least something towards my mortgage every month, I am currently three months behind.  $2394.04, to be exact, to cover all the arrears, late fees, and current month. 

Here’s the reality.

I currently work as a customer service representative for a major credit card company.  I’m one of those people ya’ll like to yell at when you call the 800-number on the back of that little plastic rectangle you so lovingly maxed out at 21.99% interest and are pissed off because we won’t raise your credit limit so you can buy more stuff. 

Honestly, 99% of the people who call are super nice, really sweet, and actually, a lot of fun to chat with!  But oh man, can that 1% really stress you out!  Here’s a tip:  When you call your credit card company, be sweet. We’re a lot more likely to help you, even bend the rules a little if we can, if you are nice and fun to chat with.  The sweet ones get that second courtesy late-fee waiver in 12 months.  The ones who yell, don’t. 

Anyway, currently, I average 25-30 hours a week, at $9.00 an hour.  My take-home pay is between $725 and $840 a month, after taxes.  No benefits.  No sick pay.  No holiday pay.  No insurance.  I do get to telecommute, meaning, I work from home, which is awesome, don’t get me wrong.  I love having strangers yell in my ear while I sit in my bathrobe and slippers

I thank God I telecommute, because if I didn’t, I would have lost my job back in December when my car broke down.  December, also known around here as Hell Month, because it was the month my pay totalled $662 for the month, and my mortgage is $589.  December, the month I did not have a Christmas, the month I fell behind on my mortgage.  My car still hasn’t been repaired, because I cannot come up with the over $700 I need to fix the transmission. Makes it really tough to find a second job when you don’t have a way to drive 30 miles to the next closest town, Colorado Springs, which doesn’t exactly have much in the way of jobs available anyway.

I’m not a big spender by any stretch of the imagination.  I have no credit cards, I have no car loan.  My mortgage and my student loans (currently on economic deferment) are my only debts.  I have no cell phone, no satellite tv, no cable tv.  My electric averages $45 a month, water & sewer $49 (that’s the minimum charge), phone $45, internet $35, trash $22 a month, car insurance $35 a month.  Phone and internet are required for my job, otherwise I’d probably do without them.  I spend about $30 a month on food.  Dog, cat, and goldfish food cost me about $20 a month.  I do not go out to eat.  I do not drink.  I haven’t been to the movies in three years.   I’m currently getting my asthma medications for free through a pharmaceutical company program.  The library is my dearest friend. Although I smoke the occasional cigarette, I haven’t actually bought a pack in over a year.   I live cheap, and I always have, even when my business was booming years ago and I was raking in the cash.  Savings that are now gone, as I used them to stay alive and in my home when I found myself completely unemployed three years ago, savings wiped out when it took me 18 months to get a job – any job – a job I still work.

I’m incredibly lucky my mortgage company hasn’t already started foreclosing on me.  They know my situation, I keep talking to them, keep trying to work something out.  I sent in the paperwork for one of those new affordable housing loan modifications back in early April, they say it could still be another five or six months before I get an answer.  Meanwhile, primarily because of my current income situation, there isn’t anything else they can offer to help me.  They keep accepting the payments I do send in, which is a minor miracle, truth be told.  Everytime I talk to them, they keep asking for the entire arrears yet also say, well, if you can’t pay it all, pay whatever you can.  In between the words they are obligated to say, reading between the lines, I get the message that as long as I keep paying something, anything, every month, I’m kinda on the low-priority list for foreclosure.  Besides, they are in Ohio, I’m in Colorado.  If they foreclose on me, they know it’ll be 110-125 days before I have to abandon the property, and that is 110-125 days they won’t get a penny from me.  Add another 60-90 days if I choose to file bankruptcy during that foreclosure time period.  Which I probably would, just so I could get more money saved to move elsewhere.  At least this way, they keep getting something, and maybe more down the line from me.  I am not a religious person at all, but I do pray that I stay out of the gunsights of foreclosure long enough to sell the house.  I am grateful that so far, I’ve been beyond belief lucky I’m not already out on the streets.

It’s been one hell of a struggle to keep up with the mortgage these last three years, since my business failed.  Even with the loan modification I was granted last July, almost exactly a year ago (you can read about it here), I’ve not been able to stay on top of it.  And in just two years, when the rate adjusts again, I may be really screwed.

I sat down earlier this month, and thought about my options.

Option one:  Beg, plead, pray for 40 hours a week.  At $9.00 an hour, even if I were to be scheduled a full 40 hours a week, every week, my take-home after taxes is $1036.80.  If my job actually gave me that many hours, if I were to put every single earned penny towards the mortgage and pay nothing else, it would take me four months to get caught up.  In the meantime, I would lose my electricity, my heat, my water, my phone, my internet service, my trash service, and, of course, somewhere along the line, run out of toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, and food to eat.  Of course, the moment I lost my electricity, phone, or internet service, I would also lose my job, because I telecommute for my job.  Okay, so option one is a no-go.

Option two: Keep doing what I’ve been doing since March, which is pay a month’s mortgage, plus a few dollars extra towards the arrears – most months, which has been $20-$25 a month, while keeping the utilities on.  Hope and pray my hours stay at my current average and don’t get cut over the winter again like they did last year.  It will take me 7.98 years to catch up.  Somewhere along the line, hopefully, can get the car repaired, get a second job, or maybe one of the businesses that have closed in my small town over the last 18 months will reopen, and I can get a second job I can walk to.  That is a lot of hoping, I know.  But hey, it’s possible, just not probable within the next few months, much less year.  So option two is a long shot.

Option three: Stop paying the mortgage completely, save every penny I earn, and let the bank foreclose, which if I stopped paying them something, would likely happen within two months, another three months before I’m on the street.  Probably get around $3500 saved up in that time, not enough to stop the foreclosure since additional arrears would have accrued, but enough to get the car fixed and move into a rental somewhere.  Get stuck in rental hell for several years, unable to get a mortgage, difficult to save money for downpayment, but doable.  Trash my already ruined credit.  Walk away from a home I’ve lived in for ten years with nothing, at all.  Option three is feasible, but unpleasant.

Option four: Sell the house.  If I work real hard, get this place spic-and-span, do the various small repairs that are needed, get very very lucky, I might, just might, get somewhere between $100,000 and $110,000.  I might, just might, sell it within six months.  Houses have always sold slow out here, but at least they are selling.  I currently owe $82,000 on the mortgage. After paying the mortgage and realtor, I would pocket somewhere between $12,000 to $21,000.  Sell every stick of furniture I own, just about all my possessions, that’ll be another $2000-$3000.  Take the money, move to Kansas or Nebraska where I can buy a small, cute, nice house for $15,000-$30,000 total, and start all over again from scratch, at age 45.   Buy a house for cash, or for a very very small mortgage.  Hell, it probably wouldn’t even be a proper mortgage at such a small amount, if I dumped everything I have into the down payment, it’d probably more likely be a property-secured signature loan.  I can take my job with me, after all, since I telecommute.  Granted, I leave a house I’ve lived in for ten years, a house I’ve already dumped around $15,000 into the roof, plumbing, sewer line, electric, insulation, bathroom remodel, appliances, kitchen update, phone wiring, landscaping, and small repairs.  A house I put a $22,000 down payment on.  A house I love.  A community I love, even though all of my very closest friends have all had no choice but to leave either for their jobs or losing their own homes.  A community I’m a part of, even though most of the businesses have closed, but will over time open again.  Option four means a loss of about half of what I have invested so far, not including all the friggin’ interest I’ve paid on the stupid adjustable rate mortgage I have.  Option four means the potential, if miracles do really happen, of a fresh start elsewhere without the pressure of a mortgage I cannot afford, of the potential for freedom.  Option four is realistic, and despite the upheaval, smart.

You see, when I bought my house ten years ago, it appraised at $104,000.  Almost two years ago, before the housing market really collapsed, it appraised at $115,000.   My house went up in value $11,000 in about 8 years, and right now, it will probably appraise at $105-$110, according to a very good friend of mine at the local bank.  Which means in the last year, my house value has lost most of what it took eight years to gain in value.  Still, at least I’m not upside down like many others.  Reality is, I could live in this house another 20 years, and it will probably never get very much above the $115,000-$130,000 range.  Meanwhile, I’ll continue to dump huge chunks of my income to interest payments.  Screw equity building, it’s a fallacy in this circumstance.  I can never build enough equity to cover the mortgage interest I’m paying.  Never.  I would have to sell my house right now for over $150,000 just to cover the more than $95,000 in interest I’ve already paid over the last ten years, plus the repairs and down payment costs.  And it just will get worse: If I wait five years, hoping the market rebounds drastically, I would need to sell my house for more than $180,000 just to cover the interest I’ve paid, repairs, and down payment.  Wait ten years, more than $205,000.  Wait twenty years, more than $230,000. 

I’m sorry, but the odds of a small, over 100-year old, 1,040 square foot home in a tiny town 30 miles from the nearest Walmart raising that far in value within the next five to ten years are infinitesimal.  Possible?  Sure, anything’s possible.  Realistically probable?  Unlikely.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I knew all this when I bought my home.  I knew that I wasn’t buying into the next great boom market.  I knew that my home, being on the small side, being in a somewhat remote area, would have limited appeal should I ever resell it.  I bought it because I wanted to spend the rest of my life here.  I bought it because it was affordable.  I bought it because I owned my own small business, which was very successful at the time, but didn’t want to buy something big and expensive in case things took a turn for the worse, which, as the entire world knows, did indeed happen.  I paid $80,800 for it, far below appraised value, because it needed quite a bit of work.  You know, that roof I mentioned before, the plumbing, the sewer line.  I bought it because it fit me perfectly and I knew I would be happy in it for the rest of my life.  And I have been happy, very happy.  I just can’t afford it. 

I know how ridiculous it sounds to say I cannot afford a $589 a month mortgage payment, when others are going bankrupt with $1,500 or more mortgage payments.  But truth be told, I can’t afford $589 a month anymore.  Two years from now, under the terms of my current loan modification, my interest rate will go from the current 5.25% to 7.5%, then the year after that, to prime plus 5.99%, resetting every year, never to go below 7.5%.  So even if somehow I managed to get caught up, and to stay caught up, in two years, my mortgage payment is going to go up about $180 a month, if not more, not even including any further increases in my homeowner’s insurance or taxes.

What are the odds that I will be in a better job in two years?  Probable.  Until my car broke down, I was actively looking for a better job.  I still keep looking.  Are they odds I am willing to play, at the risk of foreclosure between now and then?  Can I afford to keep dumping money into the coffers of the mortgage company knowing that I can never recoup all my investment?  Seriously, the job and housing market has barely changed here in the last ten years, what are the odds of it changing drastically in the next ten years?  And changing enough to make it worthwhile to sit and wait? 

So I’m going to sell my house, move someplace where nobody knows me, and start all over again from scratch.  Buying furniture at Goodwill.  Dishes at yard sales.  Meeting people, making friends.  Remodeling, repairing, renovating.  Everything I did when I bought this house and moved into this community, which I do love even though, frankly, other than my house, there is nothing left here to hold me down.  Everyone I deeply care about is gone. 

To get my house ready to sell, I’ve got a ton of work to do.  I have ten years of clutter and junk to dispose of – I’ll be the yard sale queen of the town this summer!  (Earned $206 at the first yard sale last weekend, hopefully the rest will be just as good if not better!)  Every room needs to be painted.  There is drywall to be repaired.  Gutters to be installed, a broken window, a ton of yard work, garage door to rehang, lots of small projects that I started and never finished because I always thought I had time.   Like finishing tiling the kitchen floor, finish replacing the ceiling in the bathroom, finish replacing the window in the living room, hang the molding around the bedroom door I replaced.  You get the idea.  A good friend who is a realtor gave me a ton of advice, and a long list of things to do to get the house in as good as condition as possible to show it, and do it fast, get it on the market now before the summer ends. 

Start over someplace where I can live without a mortgage, or a very minimal one.  I love small towns, I love small houses, I love ranching and farming communities.  I love the mid-west, the glorious summers and woodstove winters.  There are a lot of small towns in the far eastern parts of Colorado, western parts of Kansas, southwestern parts of Nebraska, and various parts of Wyoming that fit the bill, and have housing under $50,000.  I’m moving on. 

God, I love my house.  Goodbye.

Three years ago, I was using an average of 6,200 gallons of water a month for an average water bill cost of about $78.  And I live alone.

$78… more than I actually was spending on gasoline every month! That is a lot of water.  Enough to fill a 12-foot swimming pool every month.  And, as it turns out, most of it I was simply flushing away.

You see, my now-105-year-old house, which didn’t even have indoor plumbing until 1958, had one of those old-fashioned big ceramic toilets, the kind that practically makes a roar when you flush it.  And flush it I did… I flushed it every time I sat down.  Whenever I blew my nose, I threw the tissue in there and flushed it.  I flushed Q-tips and cigarette butts.  I flushed it a lot.

Using 5.2 gallons of fresh, clean, precious drinking water with every mindless flush.  What a waste.

Well, frankly, I rather liked that old toilet… it was big, it was kinda classy looking, with those smooth somewhat-curvy lines of the 1950s to it.  It was well-built – the tank cover alone weighed nearly ten pounds!  And it had some history – that toilet had been happily flushing away fresh drinkable water for fifty years.

And it had to go.  Whether I liked it or not, it had to go.  You see, the company I worked for at the time had just cut all our hours in half, and I needed to find ways to lower my cost of living and fast – despite good earnings, I had next-to-nothing in my savings account, and nothing, not any bill, not any expense, was so sacred it could not be reduced.  But at the same time, I really didn’t want to change my lifestyle too much – after all, I’m in my forties, I’m kinda set in my ways, I’ve worked since I was 14, and I deserve to live comfortably, right?

Besides, we were in the middle of a drought, and my town was begging us every month in huge bold letters on our wallet-draining bill to conserve water.

Ya, right… but not at the expense of over, as it turns out, of nearly 2,500 gallons of precious drinking water every single month.  I knew the toilet was, without a doubt, responsible for a big chunk of my monthly water bill, and I knew it was time to trade it out for one of those wimpy, whiny, effeminite-looking low-flow toilets.  Time to get a toilet that would never flush right the first time, that had no power, no guts, no glory.

Time for me to learn just how wrong I was.  Low-flow toilets are actually really cool!  And they don’t have to be expensive at all!

Off I went to Home Depot and Lowes to go check out … toilets.  I must admit, it was a little embarrasing at first, for some weird reason, to find myself chatting to a man half my age about what I was looking for in a toilet!  And very odd when he actually invited me to try them out. No, he didn’t mean actually USE the displayed toilets, but just to sit down on them and find one that feels “comfortable and relaxing” – his words!  As he put it, “you don’t buy a car without test driving it first… think of how much time a day you spend sitting on this thing!  They don’t call it a throne for no reason at all!”

So I sat down.  On just over a dozen different models at two different stores, and found one that felt … comfortable.  Gosh, that sounds so weird when talking about a toilet!  But honestly, he was right – I needed to find a model that wasn’t too short or tall, that wasn’t too narrow or wide, and, most importantly of all, was easy to install, since I was doing this work myself.

Oddly enough, the most expensive models weren’t the most comfortable – one of them, the tank cover felt like it was jabbing me in the back.  Another one my feet didn’t touch the floor when I sat down on it.  A third one – the most expensive one actually – cracked when I sat down on it.  Talk about embarrassing!  Hey, I know I need to lose a good 20 or 30 pounds, but sheesh, break a toilet??  Yikes!  The sales clerk at that store assured me that it wasn’t my fault, it probably already had several cracks from many, many test drives… I hope he was right.

The model I decided on was made by American Standard, and retailed at the time for $168.  I saved $33 by using a 20% coupon I had received by joining Home Depot’s garden club (free to join, find more at their website).  Hauled the dang thing home, and then experienced the fun of installing it.

Well, actually, I should say the “fun” of UNinstalling the old toilet.  Remember, that thing had sat there unmoved for fifty solid years.  On the positive side, scraping the caulking away from the base at the floor was easy – most of it just peeled easily away with my hands, it was so aged.  The bolts that held it in place were so rusted, I couldn’t turn the nut at all to remove it, however, by simply rocking the toilet back and forth a little bit, both bolts just broke. Then I tried to lift the dang thing away.

Not happening.  I may be a woman, but I’m pretty strong.  I can haul a 50-pound bag of dog food from the car to the kitchen without running out of breath.  I managed to haul the new toilet into the house from the car – it wasn’t easy, even in a box it’s pretty awkward, but I did it.  This thing wasn’t going anywhere.

Off I went to knock on the door of my ever-patient and tolerant next door neighbor, who I’m sure spends many an hour wondering about what that wild-haired crazy woman next door is up to now.  Surprisingly, he didn’t blink a bit when I asked him if he and his sons could help me move a toilet.  “Sure thing, be right there!”

A few minutes later, my 5×9 foot bathroom crowded with 3 full-grown, well-fed men, myself, and two very curious large dogs wondering what all the fuss was about, my toilet was rocked, jiggled, manhandled, and finally forced, with the use of two crowbars, away from its home of fifty years.

They even carried it out to the backyard for me, to be picked up at a future date by the trashman.

Then they offered to help me put in the new toilet, which I gladly accepted.  As one of them got down on his knees to scrap away decades-old gunk, goo, and assorted other items I couldn’t identify if I wanted to (how’d a toothbrush get down there?), one of them asked me for the wax ring.

“The what?”

“Wax ring.  It’s what seals the toilet in place, so no sewer gases leak between the line and the toilet.”

“Um… okay… be right back!” and off I ran to the local Ace Hardware to get a wax ring, fuming the whole way, why didn’t the sales guy at Home Depot tell me I needed to buy a wax ring??

Fortunately, they are cheap, less than $5.  Returning home like a triumphant Cleopatra with wax ring in hand, anticipating the first flush of my new throne, I was met at my own door by one of my neighbor’s son’s asking me if there were any mounting bolts in the box when I unpacked the toilet.

So, without even entering my house, I headed back out to Ace Hardware to pick up a few bolts, which, fortunately, they did have in stock.  And fortunately, they are pretty standardized in size, too.

Just to discover both of his sons now sitting on my front porch, looking kinda grim.  Okay, looking really grim. Turns out the clay sewer pipe – this is very old plumbing! – has a rather large crack in it, uncovered by the removal of all that grime and goo.  But, with a few simple tools and some sort of adapter and a few other odds and ends, they could cut the pipe off and refit the top portion of it… however, to do so, they would need to tear up my floor a bit, in order to get to it.  “It’s simple, just a real pain to do, but we can fix it for you.”

I’m telling you, I have the best neighbor’s in the world.  I don’t want to think what a plumber would charge me for this… so off I was to Ace Hardware, for the third time in a row, to go get the various supplies needed.  I love Ace Hardware.  They always have all those weird odd things in stock that you don’t even know what they do until you need them!  And a quick side-trip to the corner store to pick up a case of beer … might as well keep the neighbor’s happy while they tear apart my bathroom!

About three hours later, and one more trip to Ace Hardware to get a new connector and adapter for the water line, my new throne was ready for use.  Like three proud fathers, my neighbors guided me into my own bathroom, grinning ear-to-ear, and said, “Try it out!”

My eyes must have doubled in size, as they all started laughing, “No, no, we mean, just flush it!”

So I did, and it was quiet.  I actually sat there staring at the water as it roiled down the drain, not quite believing that something so quiet could flush away a tissue, much less the biologically-reduced remains of a good Mexican dinner.  But oddly enough, it seemed to be pretty powerful, only proper usage would decide!

Over the next few days, I decided that this toilet was really cool!  It easily did the job it was designed for, with more than enough power to take care of the most abundant biological deposits.  And it was so quiet!!  My dogs sure seem to like it, as they began to drink out of it, a gross habit they never acquired with the old toilet… must have smelled bad to them. 

The real question to be answered was how much water would this new toilet save me?  I had to wait for two water bills to get solid numbers, and it was amazing:  My usage was down 2,800 gallons of water, my bill was $53, a $25 savings, or $300 a year.  This new toilet, even with all the little odds and ends I had to purchase, would pay for itself in less than a year.

I must admit that I have also stopped using the toilet as a garbage pail.  Although it took me a few months, I have broken the habit of flushing sneeze-rags, Q-tips, cigarette butts, and various and sundry other non-biological-waste-related objects down my toilet.  Sometimes, I even use the “if it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down” philosophy. 

A few months later, I replaced the shower head, which was probably 20 or 30 years old, and fixed a small leak under my kitchen sink.  I also replaced the bathroom sink faucet with one designed to use less water.  All told, over the course of seven months, I spent $342 to replace everything, and brought my water usage down to less than 2,000 gallons a month.  My bill is now $36 a month – which is the minimum my town charges for water and sewer service.  Total savings is $42 a month, $504 a year.  Even better, I am saving more than 50,000 gallons of precious drinking water every year.

I love my new toilet
Posted in Frugal Living, Life, Musings Tagged: saving money, toilets, utilities, water, water conservation